But it’s closing time and we both know why

I had to stop the post I was working on to write this, as  I would be remiss as a lifelong Cowboys fan otherwise. Let me preface this by saying, yes, this blog is about the tribulations of female life. However, I am a gigantic sports fan (which comes with its own challenges that will certainly be discussed at length). So we will be taking a side trip every once in awhile. Not to mention, as a teenager in the 90s and winning three Super Bowls, I didn’t expect I would be 38 and not have another. I mean, my god, we even let the Eagles finally win won.

Outside of Dak Prescott – because he’s a perfect angel (more on this comment at a later date, as I almost threw a drink in someone’s face in Vegas over this, and not why you’re thinking) – I am fine with burning the entire team to the ground. I am completely over the online and in-person debates about what the Cowboys should/need/have to do to get better. You all are damn fools. Apologies to anyone who has heard me say this 175 times, but you fidna hear it again, the only way That Team will ever be better is for Jerry Jones to be six feet under. Preferably more like 20 feet with steel bars and some sort of voodoo. I have made peace with the fact we’ll most likely never win another championship until I’m retired (I’ve not made peace with that when it comes to the Stars, so someone fix that shit). And let’s face it, unless I marry Jake Gyllenhaal, I’ll never actually be able to retire.

I’ll hit pause on my overwhelming rage for a second, because we lost a good man today. And he deserves our collective respect and gratitude. There are those who think Witten is trash (I’m looking at  you, Drew Magary), and that’s okay. I can live with that. I live with a lot as a Dallas sports fan these days. However, I also know 82’s contributions off the field, both to the team and to this community, meant even more than his substantial contributions to the game. His leadership, his all around good humanness, his dependability – it will be missed. We knew this day was coming and most of us who don’t have Cowboys Fan Head Up the Ass Syndrome knew it was going to happen this year. But it still kinda sucks.

Dez is gone (I would have absolutely helped packed his boxes). Jason is now gone. For some reason I still have to deal with troubled child Zeke. And Perfect Angel is of course still here. Nonetheless, it’s a new day for the Cowboys.

And what does that mean? Not a damn thing. We will still be terrible.

Rage back on.

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